


Best is Yet to Come

by lanibb2013



Category: Person Of Interest - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Possessive John, Submissive Harold, mental disability
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-09 16:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4356263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanibb2013/pseuds/lanibb2013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John is shot in the head...Harold has to deal with the consequences of having the man he loves severely hurt and having never told John how he felt. He takes on the responsibility of caring for John for the rest of his life. Can they get past the insecurities that Harold has and the damage the bullet caused in John to be able to find happiness together after everything they have been through? Will John be able to get through Harold's stubbornness and aloofness to convince him he is in love with the older man? Even now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fate

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I started some time ago but never got to go very far with it. So I found it and thought....what the hell. Hope you like it. 
> 
> Inspired By:
> 
> Best is yet to Come  
> By: Red  
> Afraid it won't come round again   
> Afraid to move on   
> Wishing I could go back when   
> Everything was easier and made for me   
> Wanting all we left behind   
> Like its the answer   
> An hour glass we can't rewind   
> Holding back the life that I've been at for so long 
> 
> Can I find my way to you   
> And After all that we've been through   
> And after all we left in pieces   
> I still believe our lives have just begun   
> Cause now the past can be outrun   
> And I know you are the reason   
> I still believe the best is yet to come 
> 
> A Photograph's still in my hands   
> Afraid to let it go   
> The minutes rain like grains of sand   
> And time is just a war that's stealing dreams from within   
> So come and take them back again 
> 
> And After all that we've been through   
> And after all we left in pieces   
> I still believe our lives have just begun   
> Cause now the past can be outrun   
> And I know you are the reason   
> I still believe the best is yet to come 
> 
> I won't turn around   
> Let it all slip away   
> I'm never backing down   
> Cause tomorrow's a new day   
> And everything can change 
> 
> And After all that we've been through   
> And after all we left in pieces   
> I still believe our lives have just begun   
> Cause now the past can be outrun   
> And I know you are the reason   
> I still believe the best is yet to come 
> 
> I still believe the best is yet to come   
> The best is yet to come   
> I still believe the best is yet to come

Reese was finding it funny how Harold always had the worst timing to ask for updates. He happened to be in the middle of a gun fight when the older man called him and the only thing he could do was say, “I’m a little busy right now, Finch.” Eventually he got out numbered and cornered. He knew he wasn't going to get out of it this time. He threw his gun down and sighed. This was bound to be his fate and the only thing he regretted was that Harold was going to be left without a protector. He had been in love with the smaller man for almost 2 years but never acted on it except flirting. He saw the gun raised to his head and said, “I’m sorry, Finch. I just want you to know I love you and thank you for everything.” Then everything went dark.

Finch knew it was inevitable but it still shocked him anyway. His heart about stopped when he heard gun fire and then Reese’s voice over the com link basically saying goodbye before a single shot and a thud. He cried, “Mr. Reese?? John?? Please answer me.” He was crying when he called Fusco and Carter on his way out of the library with Bear. He stammered, “I need you to get to the address I sent you ASAP. I’ve lost contact with John and I….oh god. I think they killed him.” He took off as fast as he could until he got to the warehouse he last knew John had been at. He told Bear to seek and followed hoping against hope that that shot was not for his beloved friend. He had never had the chance to tell John he loved him and couldn't live without him. He saw bear nuzzling a black clad figure and when he knew it was John he fell to his knees and pulled the man’s head into his lap cried, and rocked. He didn't even care about the blood he was getting all over his bespoke suit. He was so distraught he didn’t even notice Fusco come in and check the taller man’s pulse.

Fusco had never seen four eyes like this before and it scared him. He’s seen Wonder boy out of control and angry but Finch usually didn’t show much emotion at all if any so he knew that there was more to these two men’s relationship than meets the eye. He bent down and found a pulse. He yelled, “Hey Wonder Boy’s still got a pulse. He’s alive. We got to get him outa here and to a hospital. Hey, rich guy? Four eyes? Where do you want us to take him and what name do we use?”

Harold blinked and whispered, “The best one around. I’ll deal with the other stuff. Register him as John Raven, my husband.” He knew that was the only way to be able to have control over what happened with John is if he said they were life partners. He had to go back to the library and get the paper trail taken care of for him to have power of attorney and everything else. Soon as he got the paper trail taken care of he rushed off to the hospital Fusco said he was going to take John too. When he got there he told them he was John’s husband and the doctors talked to him after seeing the power of attorney papers he had made Reese sign a long time ago.

Doctor Sanders said, “Mr. Raven, I hate to have to tell you this but your husband took a bullet to the brain. We managed to remove it but we are not sure how much damage the bullet created. He is currently in a coma and we are not sure when or if he will wake from it. If he wakes up than we can assess the extent of the brain damage he has suffered.”

Harold swallowed thickly and replied, “Thank you, doctor. May I see him?” He was shown into John private room where he sat down in the miserable hard chair that would put him in agony but he wouldn’t leave John’s side. He held onto the younger man’s hand and squeezed it. He whispered, “Please don’t leave me alone, John. I…..need you. I don’t….want to….live without you in my life. I…” No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t say ‘I love you’ until John was awake and able to return the feeling so he cried until he ran out of tears.

John started coming out of the dark when he heard a man calling to him and sobbing. He couldn’t place who it was but he knew the person was important to him and he had to go back even though it was hard to do. He drifted in and out for a while until he got a solid grip. He felt something next to his hand and with an effort reached out and touched short spiky hair and a soft chubby hand. He saw the head rise so fast he winced. He wasn’t sure why but he knew that this little man was in a lot of pain all the time. His brain seemed to be muddled and missing memories that he was sure should be there but he couldn’t find. He finally was able to come up with a name to match the be-speckled face with bloodshot eyes that was looking at him in concern. He rasped, “Ha…har..old?” He was having a hard time speaking. His brain wasn’t working right for him to speak correctly or even think the same as he used it. He wasn’t sure how he knew but he somehow knew he was not right. He pulled Harold to him until the older man sat on the side of the bed.

Harold sat on the edge of the bed holding John’s hand and caressing the younger man’s face. He whispered, “It’s all right, John. I’m right here. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” He watched John nod back off to sleep again and sighed. At least the younger man had come out of the coma but he could tell John wasn’t the same as he was before he was shot. When John woke again the doctor came in and assessed the younger man and had some tests done. Harold sat and waited holding John’s hand because the taller man would not let go or go anywhere without him. Eventually he was told by the doctor that John had suffered brain damage to his speech section of his brain and the younger man was now about 10 or 12 years old in his head. He also was informed that many things the younger man had known or was capable of comprehending, he probably never would be able to again. He had to make sure he kept everything as simple as possible so that John understood it which also meant that his aloof and mistrusting nature had to be put aside if he was going to give John happiness. He was sitting drinking a cup of tea when John started thrashing. He set the tea down and tried to hold John down while he called him to wake him up. He got punched hard in the face before the younger man finally woke up. That was going to leave him with a black eye but at least his glasses didn’t break. It also jerked his fused vertebrae and sent searing pain through his neck but he forced himself to ignore it. He said, “It’s all right, John. It was just a dream. You’re safe with me. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. I promise.”

John finally shot awake and grabbed onto Harold tightly before he was aware of it. He saw the look of agony on the older man’s face and immediately let go and placed his palm flat against the smaller man’s round belly that was covered by a waist coat and shirt. He managed, “So..sorry, Har..old.” He felt a smaller chubby hand placed over his resting on his friend’s belly and looked to see the crooked grin through the pained expression.

Harold knew John didn’t mean to hurt him so he placed a hand over the younger man’s and said, “I know, John. It’s all right. I’ll be fine. The pain will subside.” He had noticed that whenever John was awake the younger man was always touching him anywhere he could but mostly on his round belly. It made him a bit self-conscious of the weight he had gained since the accident that damaged his body so badly. He hasn’t liked being touch at all since the accident but he knew in John’s current state he had to get used to it because the younger man was always touching him. He loved John too much to reject him or give the younger man the feeling of being rejected because of his aversion to being touched. He stiffly leaned down and kissed John’s forehead and felt the younger man’s hand slide to loosely rest on his hip under his waistcoat with a thumb hooked on his belt. He eventually had to pull away because his abused body couldn’t take the position anymore. He sat in the chair by the bed and took hold of John’s hand again. He watched John fall back to sleep but never left the younger man’s side for longer than a few minutes to get something to drink. Fusco and Carter wound up bringing him food and clothes while the hospital finally let him shower and sleep there because John went crazy if he was gone too long. He slept fitfully and was very happy when he could finally take John home and hopefully get some real sleep again. 

John didn’t like being left alone or having Harold out of his sight. He was petrified to not have the older man within reach even though he couldn’t really tell why he felt that way. He grabbed the older man’s hand when he went to leave the room and didn’t realized his grip was so tight it was hurting his friend until he saw the pained look in the smaller man’s face. He loosened his grip but cried, “Don go, Har..old.”

Harold saw the terrified look on the younger man’s face and wrapped his arms around him while the younger man cried on his shoulder. He asked, “Can I sign the paperwork in here?” When he got a yes he had them bring it in so he could sign everything needed to discharge his friend. After he had signed everything he helped John get dressed and the nurse wheeled the taller man out to his Lincoln. He helped his friend into the backseat and slid in next to the younger man. He had asked Lionel to drive them back to the loft. Luckily he had Carter bring his collection of clothes from the Burdett house to the loft so he had some clothes to wear even though they weren’t his Armani suits. He decided that after a few days he would move John into his home but he wanted to know if the younger man had anything he wanted from the loft other than his clothes. He had already taken the taller man’s arsenal and locked it up in a safe place in the library. He saw Bear run over and knock John over in surprise before the younger man started playing with the dog. He smirked and limped over to start dinner for the both of them. After Dinner he helped John get ready for bed and found the younger man preferred to wear briefs only to bed so rather than fight his friend he just let it go. He stripped down to his boxers and tee-shirt since he had no idea where his pajama’s were and didn’t feel like looking for them tonight. He settled down on his back on the left side of the bed to keep his bad side away from John possibly accidentally hurting him in the middle of the night by bumping him or something. He placed his glasses on the nightstand and was surprised the younger man hadn’t attached to him like an octopus yet. He reached his right hand out and gently tugged John’s arm and sighed, “Come here, John.” 

John hadn’t known what Harold would find acceptable affection if any in bed. He waited for a cue and as soon as the older man gave it to him he wrapped himself around the smaller man’s body. He kissed the older man’s cheek before putting his head on Harold’s shoulder and the palm of his hand against the smaller man’s fuzzy belly under the tee-shirt. He heard a sharp inhale of breath and went to remove his hand but was stopped by the older man’s clasping his hand. He sighed and settled down rubbing his knuckles against Harold’s soft belly until he fell asleep. He sighed, “Luv u, Har..old.”

Harold was surprised when the younger man kissed him and slipped a hand up under his tee-shirt but he allowed it knowing it was now a part of their relationship from now on. He wrapped his right arm around John’s shoulders and felt John’s knuckles rubbing against his soft belly until the younger man fell asleep. He kissed the top of his friend’s head and whispered, “Love you too, John.” He eventually nodded off to sleep to John’s light snores and Bear’s clacking of nails as the dog chased something in his dreams.


	2. Mixed Signals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is having a hard time telling Harold how he feels and Harold can't see that John is in love with him but Fusco can.

John woke up the next morning happy and comfortable on his pillow until it hissed and moved. His head shot up and he realized his pillow was Harold. He squeaked, "So...sorry."

Harold just groaned, "Could you get off of me please, John?" When John moved he rolled onto his undamaged side and finally registered John getting up. He reach out his hand and said, "No John. Stay."

John whispered, "I keep hu....rtin you."

Harold sighed, "No, John. It's my injuries causing me the pain. Not you. I just need my pills." He watched John hesitantly curl back up beside him on the bed but didn't touch him. He felt terrible for John because while John understood he had injuries...John didn't understand that it wasn't the his fault that he was hurting. He just watched John not wanting to scare him away again. He watched the younger man go to touch him 3 times and pull back. On the fourth he reached out and took John's hand and laced their fingers together. He said, "It's all right, John. You can touch me. I'm not going to hurt any more or less by it."

John whined, "I Don..want to..hurt you, Har..old." He loved the older man so much and didn't like seeing him in pain. His memory was spotty but he KNEW he had loved this small hurting chubby man for a long time. He just couldn't be sure he didn't hurt him to begin with or that the older man's injuries weren't his fault.

Harold gently pulled until the younger man was closer to him and replied, "You're NOT hurting me. You'd never hurt me, John. You have always protected me, John. Even when I didn't want you too. You even gave me Bear for protection. A service dog that only understands Dutch commands."

John asked, "How....you get hurt?"

Harold sighed and even though he didn't want to tell John h somehow knew if they were going to get past this he had too. He replied, "I was too close to an explosion. It left me...with a lot of damage. I have so many pins and screws in my body....I can't move very well. My neck and part of my back are fused together...I can't move it very much. That's why I have to turn my whole upper body to look at you. My left hip is pinned and screwed together but it left me with a limp. I'm in constant pain but after so long I've gotten used to it. If it gets too bad I have stronger pills for it."

John asked, "Did I...hurt you?"

Harold finally realized where this was going. He said, "God no, John. I got hurt years before I even met you. It wasn't your fault. If it was anyone's it was my own. Why don't we get up and I'll make breakfast."

John's tightened his hand in Harold's and said, "I love you." He could tell the older man didn't understand he meant that he was in love with him but he wanted to find out how the little man felt about him.

Harold tightened his own fingers and replied, "I love you too, John." After John got out of the bed he managed to shimmy out of his nest of pillows and off the bed. He was surprised that John came and helped him get up because of how much the younger man was afraid of hurting him. He had told Carter where John lived and asked her to pick up some groceries for them. He eventually settled on making French toast and bacon with coffee for John and tea for himself. He then set a bowl of food down for Bear and changed his water. He took his pills while John washed the dishes and put them away. He jumped slightly at the touch on his shoulder and hissed in pain. He felt that hand drawing away and placed his own on top of John's hand. He said, "It's all right. You just startled me, John."

John suddenly realized and said, "You...not used...to touch."

Harold sighed, "No I'm...not used to being touched. You used to touch me sometimes but not when I wasn't aware of it.....You are the only person I...have allowed to touch me in a friendly manner in a very long time."

John asked, "You..want me to...stop?"

Harold turned around in his chair and replied, "No, John. I don't. I know you need to touch me. To some degree I think I need it as well. You have always been the more affectionate one of us. It's part of who you are and I can live with that. All I ask is that you give me some notice before you touch me if I don't see it coming. In time I will get used to it."

John asked, "We...close?"

Harold replied, "Yes. We are close. You were...are my best friend and the only person left in this world that I trust. You are also the closest thing I have to family anymore."

John decided to take a chance and kissed Harold firmly on the lips. He saw the shock on the older man's face and thought he made a big mistake. He babbled, "Sorry. I...not do again."

Harold grabbed John's hand and replied, "No. It's all right. I just didn't expect you to kiss me. I don't mind if it's something you want to do."

John kissed Harold again and replied, "Thank you." 

Harold blushed and replied, "You're welcome. Now I was wondering do you want to stay here or move in my home?"

John asked, "We...not live in... same place?" When Harold had stayed with him last night he had just assumed they lived together. That and having the same last name of Raven. He had assumed they were a couple since Harold now admitted they didn't know each other their whole lives.

Harold replied, "No. We don't. I bought this loft for you after we met as a birthday present but no we never lived together."

John asked, "Why not? We pair? uh....couple? Both same name."

Harold's eyes went wide and he said, "No, John. We aren't a couple. Ah....We both have the name Raven in order for me to pay your doctors bills and be able to see you in the hospital. It was a precautionary measure in case something happened to you. It was just easier to see you if they think we are married. You see....We only have each other in this world."

John replied, "Oh..I see. Sorry..My mistake."

Harold replied, "It's all right, John. It's my fault. I should have explained sooner."

John asked, "Why move in as pair now?"

Harold sighed, "Because...You are my only friend and I want to be there for you like you have been for me the last 2 years, John. I love you and I'm not going to desert you just because you.....are not capable of doing what you used to do. God I sound pathetic."

John knelt in front of Harold and placed a hand on his friend's soft round belly and said, "I love you. Very much, Har..old. I live...with you. I help you too."

Harold made a half smile and replied, "Ok, John. We'll start packing your things and move them to my home. I have to take Bear for a walk."

John said, "I can do it."

Harold replied, "How about we both get dressed and then we'll both go, ok?" He didn't want to take the change of John getting lost even thought he thought Bear probably could get him back home. He got a nod and went to get dressed and washed up. He reminded John how to get dressed but didn't have time for the younger man to get a shower if he didn't want the dog peeing on the floors. John was only having trouble with buttons now but he knew it would still be a while before the younger man would be able to shower or shave himself alone. Because of the damage John was having a hard time relearning some of the most basics of life but he was slowly learning. Sometimes he had to step back when he got frustrated with him and remember John is just a kid now. He sometimes had to laugh because John had the attention span of a 10 year old now and hated having to sit still without something to occupy him. He had bought John a tablet while he was in the hospital and downloaded games, music, videos and other stuff for him. He also got some board games and cards so they could play together sometimes. He even got a Wii because the doctors recommended it to keep John's mind and body moving since there were some coordination issues with the younger man's body. It was mostly tremors, basic clumsiness and minor stumbling when walking but it wasn't bad enough to have him using a walker or cane since he never fell. They felt the Wii might help with some of the coordination issues as well as increasing his range of movement.

John was excited to be going out with Harold even if it was just to walk Bear. He wrapped his arm around Harold's back as they started down the sidewalk. He felt a minute flinch and started to breathe again when he saw the minute smile on Harold's face. He was testing the older man's boundary limits. He wanted to figure out if the older man would welcome an intimate relationship with him or not. He wanted one with his friend. He may only have the intelligence level of a 12 year old now but he still knew sex and intimacy was what you did when you loved someone you wanted to spend your life with and he wanted to spend the rest of his life loving Harold. He may have forgotten a lot about it but he could relearn how to make love if he had a chance to be with Harold. He managed to adjust his pace to keep up with his shorter limping partner. He vaguely remembered always doing that in the past whenever they went walking together. 

Harold was a bit confused when John placed a hand on the small of his back but figured it was another one of John's quirks so just went with it. He decided to take Baer and John to park to play for a while. He sat on a bench while he watched the younger man throw the ball and Bear fetch it. He noticed John joined in with a bunch of 10-13 year olds playing soccer and he wound up throwing bears ball for a while. Around later afternoon he finally called, "John? We should probably get back home."  
John looked up and yelled, "Ok, Har...old. Coming. Thanks for the game. Bye." He ran over to Bear and Harold after saying by to the kids he had played with most of the day. He helped his friend stand up when he realized Harold was stiff and in pain. He said, "Sorry...You not call sooner."

Harold looked at John and replied, "You were having fun, John. I have rarely ever seen you so happy. I didn't want to spoil that happiness. I've caused you enough pain lately." He felt John's arm go around his back again only he could tell this time it was more for support so he didn't collapse. When they got back to John's loft he took his afternoon meds before his phone rang. He answered, "Hello. What can I do for you detective?"

Fusco sighed, "Well, glasses. I was just wondering how wonder boy is doing."

Harold replied, "He's doing all right. He won't be doing what he used to though anymore. I'll either have to stop helping numbers or find new people to help. It was hard enough finding John but...nothing can be done about that. It's my fault this happened to him."

Fusco replied, "Well me and carter will help ya, glasses. We were helping before wonder boy got shot so what the hell."

Harold sighed, "Thank you for the offer detective I'll let you know. My time will probably be mostly spent with John because he doesn't like being separated from me."

Fusco asked, "Hey can me and Carter stop by and see him?"

Harold replied, "I don't see why not. He may remember you since he remembered me. I know you drove us home but I don't think he was paying attention to you at the time."

Fusco laughed, "Nah. He only has eyes for you. Not even Carter could turn his head."

Harold asked, "What are you talking about, detective?"

Fusco replied, "Are telling me you haven't noticed that wonder boy has had the hots for you? Both me and Carter could tell. We also know you feel the same about him."

Harold asked, "What on earth would give you that idea?"

Fusco sighed, "You really don't have a clue do you? You haven't seen how the two of you look at each other. You look like love sick teenagers. You risk your life for him and he will go to hell and blow the place up just to find you. The way he smiles when he talks about you is amazing. He's totally enamored with you. The two of you together are unstoppable....apart you are self destructive.."

Harold sighed, "I doubt he could ever be enamored with me, detective. I'm nothing to look at or even chase after especially not for someone as attractive as John. Anyway if you want to see him we are still at his loft. We will be moving to my town house in a few days but I will still keep the loft so if you want to visit him privately we can always meet here."

Fusco laughed, "Wait. You bought him his wardrobe? His loft? You're courting him aren't you? I mean honestly no one does that unless they are interested in the person as more than a friend. You really do want him don't you?"

Harold snapped, "So what? It doesn't matter what I want anymore. Never did anyway. Now if you are through picking me apart. I need to get back to John. Good bye." He hated how observant Fusco could be sometimes. He had hit a nerve all right. He had been attracted to the younger man since3 he met him and in love with him for almost 2 years. He realized he was in love with John when Mark Snow almost killed his friend. He made dinner and then they watched TV for a while before going to bed.   
John curled up and kissed Harold's cheek before curling up on the older man's shoulder. His hand slipped under Harold loose Tee-shirt and he flattened his palm against the lower curve of Harold's soft round belly. He could feel a lot of curly hair and he said, "You...fuzzy. Like it."

Harold replied, "Huh? Oh the hair on my belly and chest? Yeah. I do have a lot of it. I guess it's a good thing you like it since you insist on sneaking your hand under my shirt every night....No. It's fine. I know you have a reason you do it. It's just....a different feeling. I'd seen you without the top half of your clothes on but I always at least had my dress shirt and tie on before last night. I will admit...it isn't as frightening as I thought it would be. I have slept with very few people in my life and of them only one other saw me like this or with less on."

John answered, "Grace."

Harold replied, "Yes. My fiancé. She saw me naked although that was before the explosion. My body is scarred and ugly now."

John replied, "I have...scars. Am I...ugly?"

Harold sighed, "god no, John. You....are beautiful. My scars are.......much larger and more abundant. Yours are from bullets. Mine are...from burns and numerous surgeries to try and...fix my broken body."

John replied, "I not care....I love you. All of you." He was getting agitated trying to explain what he felt.

Harold held John and replied, "Calm down, John. I know. It's all right. I love you too." He eventually felt John calm down and fall asleep so he gave in and fell asleep as well.


	3. My Finch, Mine

The next morning Harold was laying on his good side facing John when he snapped awake to find John watching him. John was quite close and had a hand gently rubbing up and down his soft side. He asked, "What are you doing, John?"

John smiled and replied, "Bird watching. You MY bird. MY love bird. Finch. Wren. Car..dinal. Gull. Raven. No matter bird. Love you, Har...old." He had remembered in the morning that this little man loved birds and used them as names although he couldn't remember why. He loved watching Harold while he slept. It made him happy to be so close to the older man. He moved the hand on Harold's side up to caress the older man's temple and cheek. Then he hesitantly leaned in and lightly kissed his friend's nose and lips. 

Harold gasped, "John? Those birds are.."

John replied, "You. MY bird. MINE." He was still trying to get through to Harold that he wants him as a lover but he wondered if owl was another name his friend had used because the look he was given was like a stunned owl.

Harold was not surprised by John's possessive streak only because he knew John protected him with the ferocity of a mate would in the wild. John was at times a rabid guard dog when it came to him. So this possessiveness was just another way for John to show how he feels. There were times when John's anger and violent streak scared him even though it had never been aimed at him. He replied, "Yes. I have....used those names. I didn't think you remembered any name other than Raven since that is the name we are using."

John said, "I know...you as...Har...old Finch. I love...Finch. MY Finch."

Harold replied, "Yes, John. That is the name you know me by since we met. Do you remember what I always called you?"

John stammered, "John.....Reese. I hated...that name. False name."

Harold asked, "I'm sorry, John...I never even thought to ask you what you wanted me to call you. What would you like to be called?"

John replied, "John....is fine. Real name....Keep Raven....or Finch."

Harold was floored by that and asked, "You want to be called John Raven or John Finch? Why?"

John replied, "Your name. Love you. Mates. Couple. Trust you."

Harold asked, "You want to keep one of those names because they are mine and people will think we are a couple? For medical purposes? Social? legal? All this because you trust me?"

John replied, "Yes but....want YOU. Mate." He watched Harold's eyes go wide as saucers and thought maybe he finally got through to his friend he what he wants.

Harold couldn't believe John just said what it sounded like he said. He whispered, "You want me as your.....mate?"

John whooped, "Yes....Mates..You and me...Mates."

Harold sighed, "How could you possibly want me for a mate? I'm just a crippled old man, John. Besides your mind is that of a child. Maybe you are mixing up platonic adoration for romantic attraction."

John Yelled, "NO! Love you. Want You.." He then grabbed Harold by his tee-shirt and passionately kissed the older man while being careful not to hurt him. He was very relieved when Harold after some hesitation kissed him just as passionately back. He released the older man's shirt and scooted closer until they were touching belly to chest. He brought his leg up until it was gently resting against the older man's groin.

Harold couldn't help but react to John's kiss and when he felt the younger man's erection pressing into his soft underbelly he wrapped his arm around him. He felt a knee gently resting just under his scrotum and pulled back from the kiss. He stopped John and asked, "Why me, John?"

John replied, "You....like me. Take care..of me......Act like I am normal.....I loved you before Root took you."

Harold sighed, "I never expected you to....be attracted to me. I'm not much to look at anymore. Hell I never was really. Just a computer nerd."

John gently bucked his erection against Harold's soft belly and said, "Mine. Har...old. Mine."

Harold replied, "All right. I surrender. If you really want me then....yes I'm yours. Have been for a long time really. Longer that you'd imagine." He rolled onto his back when John gently pushed him and let the younger man do whatever he wanted. He was surprised that the first thing John did was pull his tee-shirt up and kiss every inch of his soft round belly. It was almost like the younger man was worshipping it and boy did it feel good. After a few minutes he felt John settle with his head on the softest and roundest part of his belly occasionally kissing the part closest to him. He ran his fingers through the younger man's soft graying hair.

John loved kissing Harold's soft round belly and he smiled as it became apparent the older man enjoyed it as well. It was such a contrast to his own thinner body. He loved everything about Harold from his small double chin and his spiky hair to his soft round belly and round ass. He wanted to go further but he knew the older man had to be in pain so he wasn't going to push it right now. He rested his head on the older man's belly and gave it a peck every so often. He was just happy that Harold finally understood how he felt. He smiled when he heard his friend's belly gurgle every so often.

Harold asked, "Not that I'm complaining but why do you have such an..attraction to my belly?"

John replied, "You soft and chubby. You...furry too. Like a ...pot bellied.....teddy bear."

Harold chuckled, "You are an odd one, John. I guess I'm lucky you have a fetish for aging pot bellied crippled nerds."

John replied, "No. Just you."

Harold asked, "I'm the only man you have ever been attracted too?"

John replied, "Yes. Just you."

Harold asked, "Have you ever slept with a man before?"

John replied, "Yes. Made too. Job."

Harold sighed, "God. Why do you even want a......sexual relationship with me if the only experience you had with men was forced?"

John replied, "I want YOU. My choice. I trust you. Know you not hurt me. I try best to....please you. I love you."

Harold sighed, "Jesus, John. I guess I should feel honored that you trust me so much. I just ..."

John asked, "You love me? Want me? Trust me?"

Harold replied, "Yes. God yes. I just feel guilty because of the circumstances. If we had been in a relationship before this happened...That would be one thing but....To start one now I just feel I should refuse it...because of what happened."  
John kissed Harold's belly again before moving up to kiss the older man's lips. He rubbed his hand on the older man's soft round belly and replied, "We love each other. We...belong with each other."

Harold reached out a hand and cupped John's cheek and wiped a silent tear away. He sighed, "I'm not saying no, John. Just that I feel guilty about saying yes. If it wasn't for me...You wouldn't have been shot in the first place."

John whispered, "If it not for you....I be dead now. You gave me will to live." 

Harold asked, "I'm that important to you, John?"

John replied, "Yes. You are."

Harold replied, "OK, John. I'm yours for as long as you want me." After a few more kisses they got up, had breakfast and got dressed. They took a walk in the park with Bear and he was a little surprised when John took hold of his hand as they walked. He was also surprised how quickly John remembered to sync their steps so they stayed together. He eventually sat on a bench and said, "Go play with Bear, John. I'll be right here."

John replied, "Ok, Harold. Love you." He kissed the older man's forehead and squeezed his hand before going to play fetch with Bear. He kept an eye on his friend because he still had the ingrained sense of protect Harold.

Carter decided the most likely spot that they would see John and Finch would probably be the park. Sure enough there was Finch sitting on a bench and John playing with Bear. She said, "Hello, Finch."

Harold was surprised when he heard a familiar voice to his side. He said, "Hello, Detective Carter."

Carter sat on the bench next to the middle aged man and asked, "How is John doing?"

Finch sighed, "He's...all right. Remembers bits and pieces. Remembers many of my aliases and that he knows me as Finch. He doesn't remember....why he's like this now and that it's because of me."

Carter replied, "Look I wasn't sure about what you guys did when I met you but All of us...especially John know what could happen to us. John was suicidal before he met you. He would die, kill or destroy just to keep you safe. When Root took you he was a one man army ready to kill ANYONE that got in his way to finding you. Even his own allies. He adores you and has for a very long time. You are the only person that can keep him on a leash as they say. He LISTENS to you."

Finch sighed, "I...know. I never really understood why out of everyone he chose me, a fat, middle aged cripple, to get attached too. I do not wish to live without him by my side. I have been willing to forfeit my own life if there is a chance I can save him."

Carter replied, "Oh I know. The day he was shot I was shocked to find out you had lied to me but I was more angry at the CIA at the time. Then when you went up to that roof when he had that bomb vest on. You both could have been blown up."

Finch replied, "I would either save him or die with him."

Carter smiled and replied, "You really are in love with him. I thought you might be because it is obvious you are more than friends but not quite lovers. John's very fond of me and Lionel but he is in love with you."

Finch replied, "I know he is now. He told me this morning."

Carter said, "Please tell me you didn't push him away."

Finch replied, "No...I didn't. I feel very guilty about it but I didn't. I have wanted....more for so long I couldn't refuse what he was offering. I just feel like I'm taking advantage of him."

Carter sighed, "You're not. He was in love with you before all this happened. It's only logically that he'd still feel the same even if at first he didn't realized what it meant."

Finch sighed, "I guess so...but I'm the only man he's ever felt this way about. He was .....forced to sleep with men while he was in the CIA."

Carter replied, "Then if you are his first male lover then you should feel special. Not guilty. If he didn't want a relationship with you he never would have asked. Believe it or not with everything you have done for him....all he ever wanted was your love. He would give up everything if you could just love him. He told me that once. I didn't realize at the time it was his way of saying he was in love with you. I later connected the dots after he went on a knee capping and killing spree to find you."

John saw Harold talking to a pretty black woman and ran over and placed a hand possessively on the older man's shoulder. He growled, "Mine."

Harold placed a hand over John's and sighed, "John, It's all right. Detective Carter has no interest in middle aged, fat crippled men. Besides she's a friend. You used to call her Carter or rarely Joss."

John looked effectively scolded and replied, "Sorry...I can't remember you yet, Car...ter."

Carter replied, "That's all right, John. You don't have to worry about Finch running off with me. I've known for a long time he's been in love with you even if he was afraid to admit it."

John smiled and proudly replied, "I love Harold. We couple now."

Carter replied, "I know. You told me that a long time ago. I'm glad you two finally stopped dancing around each other. We were about to lock you up in a cell together until you finally told each other."

Finch replied, "Speaking of other halves where is Detective Fusco?"

Carter laughed, "Oh he'll be along. He had to run a trace before he could leave. Without you boys he has to actually do police work again."

Fusco finally got to the park and said, "Thanks, Carter. Hey Glasses. How ya doing Wonder Boy?"

John cocked his head and said, "Lio...nel? I know you as Lio...nel. My friend. Oh..Car...ter is your part...ner."

Lionel smiled and replied, "Yeah, Wonder Boy. That's us."

Carter said, "Finch and John are finally a couple, Fusco."

Lionel said, "Damn. I guess I can't lock then in a cell together."

Carter laughed, "You could but they may do more than talk."

Finch blushed and yelped, "Detectives! I wouldn't.....I'm a very private person. I'm not about to .....copulate with John in a prison cell!" He watched John run off again with Bear and shook his head.

Lionel laughed, "Don't worry, glasses. We know how long it took you to open up to him. I was the one tracing and stalking you until he decided that I should stop."

Finch deadpanned, "You weren't very good at it."

Lionel laughed, "You even evaded Wonder Boy here and he was a trained stalker. For a man who wasn't trained at evasion you are pretty damn good at it."

Finch replied, "I've had to evade the FBI since I was 16. I think I picked up a few tricks."

Lionel said, "That must be why you have so many names then."

Finch deadpanned, "Brilliant deduction, detective."

Carter said, "Well I'm glad you two finally got together. When's the wedding?"

Finch replied, "We haven't even gotten past dating yet."

Fusco laughed, "Oh come on! You have been practically dating since you met. You two are like an old married couple all ready just without the sex."

Finch sighed, "I'll let you know if we do but we haven't gotten to that stage yet. I just hope I can make John happy. I'm not young and agile anymore." He saw how happy John was for once and hoped that the younger man would always be able to be that happy now. He hoped he could make John happy.

Lionel replied, "Just being with you obviously makes him happy. He used to always smile when he was talking to you if he thought no one was looking unless he was getting attacked. We also noticed the flirting he used to do. You were the only one he flirted with because he was trying to get your attention. Zoe? He flirted with her for fun but not for attention. He was constantly worried about you even when you weren't in trouble. He's always been totally devoted t you. Don't screw it up."

Finch turned his body at an awkward angle to look up at Fusco and replied, "I don't intend to screw it up, Detective. I....love him very much. If he wants to spend his life with an old crippled man like me...then I'm not going to argue with him anymore about it."

Lionel replied, "Good. If you hurt him I will hunt you down no matter what I have to do to find you."

Finch replied, "Understood. I would probably come to you because I'd hate myself."

Carter said, "Well. I guess we should get back to work. You need us you know where to find us. See you later, Finch."

Finch replied, "Yes. Thank you, Detectives. Have a good day." He looked at his watch and watched John playing fetch with bear again. He heard a phone ring and sighed as he got up to answer it. When he got the number and called, "John? Time to go. I have a stop to make."

John ran over and clipped bears leash before following Harold to a condemned library. When they got inside he placed his hands over his ears and groaned.

Harold didn't know what to do about his friends reaction. He asked, "John? What's wrong?" He was surprised by the force of John arms wrapping around his waist and chin on his shoulder. He just returned the gesture and waited.  
John stammered, "Guns.....numbers......US......secrets. Har...old....Love you.." He had fragments of memories flying through his head. Harold being taken by Root twice, him being shot and a bomb vest, Harold saving his life both times by endangering his own.   
Harold replied, "I love you too, John. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought you here. I can take you home and then come back."

John yelled, "NO. Stay with you. Protect you."

Harold replied, "All right. I need to go upstairs." He felt Johns grip loosen but the younger man kept hold of his hand as they went upstairs. After he found out who the number was he gave it to Detective Fusco along with any information he could find that would help. The whole time he watched John curled up in a tight ball on the sofa watching him.

John had remembered the last few minutes of his old life. He had been sure he was going to die so he had told Harold how he felt. He knew he was there because of Harold but he also knew it wasn't his friend's fault he almost died. It had been his own and he knew Harold blamed himself. Some of the things the older man had been saying was starting to make sense now. He said, "It not your fault, Har..old.....I was stupid. my fault I like this...."

Harold's head snapped up with a wince and he asked, "John? What? What are you remembering?"

John replied, "Number....20 men....trap.....no chance....my fault....stupid....love you.....black."

Harold replied, "If I hadn't sent you on that mission then you wouldn't be like this. Working with me is what caused this."

John replied, "No....stupid did it......not you. Best thing I have is you, Har...old. Stop....blaming....you. My fault!" He was crying now and folded into Harold's arms when they encircled him. 

Harold held the younger man while he sobbed and replied, "All right, John. It's all right. It's going to be all right. It won't happen again.." He never realized how deeply John hid his emotions until now. Because the younger man is more child like he can't suppress what he's feeling anymore. He eventually noticed his friend go limp and realized he had cried himself to sleep. He kissed John's forehead, gently laid him down and went back to work. When he was done he woke John up and they went back to the loft with Bear in tow.

John watched Harold make dinner while he played tug of war with Bear on the floor. After they ate dinner he sat and watched TV while Harold cleaned up. When it was time for bed he changed into a tee shirt and boxers and helped Harold get comfortable before slipping in next to him. He kissed the older man while he ran a hand under the other man's loose tee shirt and up his soft round belly to his chest. He lightly pinched the older man's nipples before separating from the kiss for air. He then ducked his head and pulled up Harold's tee shirt before attacking the older man's nipples with his lips and teeth. He rubbed his hand around Harold's belly and grazed the older man's waistband a few times. He smiled when the older man pushed his hand lower giving him permission to continue. He slipped his hand under the waist band of Harold's boxers and was impressed at how thick and long his friend was considering his small stature.

Harold thought about stopping John for all of a minute before giving in. He hadn't been with anyone in so long that he was getting overwhelmed. He gasped, "John....If you don't slow down I'm going to...." When he felt John's mouth around his all ready over stimulated member he came with a hitched grunt. He had to admit John was good at sucking cock and hen he felt guilty again.

John was only interested in taking care of Harold's needs and swallowed everything the older man squirted down his throat with happiness that he could still sexually satisfy a man. He moved up and kissed the older man's lips but realized something was wrong. He asked, "Har...old? I do it wrong?"

Harold sighed, "No, John. You did well. I just still feel guilty about us. Because of your past experiences with men......I just worry you'll regret us because...."

John replied, "You are a man? No. You make me happy. I love you. I want sex with you. I love to see you come. You pretty when you come."

Harold groaned, "I'm not pretty, John. You on the other hand are beautiful. I still can't believe you fell in love with ME of all people." He could see that John adored him but he still couldn't grasp it. He kissed the younger man and pulled him to lay on his shoulder. He felt John's erection pushing insistently against his thigh. he asked, "What can I do to please you?"

John blushed and asked, "Can I rub against you belly to come?"

Harold replied, "If that's what you...want then....ok. I guess. If you clean up the mess after I can agree. Still don't understand your fetish with my pot belly but whatever works for you."

John kissed Harold and slipped his boxers down. He straddled Harold's thighs while he bucked and rubbed his erection against the older man's under belly. When he was about to come he jerked a few more times before he came on the roundest part of his lover's belly and growled, "My Finch! Mine now. Mine!"

Harold suddenly realized that John wanted to come all over him as a way to claim him as his "Finch" and he found that both disturbing and arousing at the same time. John is closer to his base instincts and desires to claim his mate now but then he wasn't the younger man's mate before. He just rested his hands on John's thighs and replied, "Yes. I'm yours, John. You can claim me as many times as you want or need. I promise." He had to admit John was pretty when he came and he didn't mind the sticky cum all over his belly as long as he could see that look on John's face again.

After John came down from his endorphin induced high he cleaned up Harold before slipping back in bed beside the older man. He said, "I love you."

Harold reached for John's hand and replied, "I love you too." He felt John take his hand and he tugged until the younger man was close enough to comfortable rest their entwined hands on the curve of his soft belly. He felt John's fingers rubbing lightly against his belly until he felt the younger man nod off. He soon joined him more content than he had been in years.


	4. Love and Marriage

The next morning John woke early and just watched Finch sleep. In the daylight he saw the older man's scaring from surgeries and ....the ferry bombing. He suddenly understood why his lover wore so many layers of clothing. He remembers the older man has pins, screws, fused neck and back which made it hard for him to move his upper body. He thought Finch was beautiful anyway because the scars were a part of what made Harold who he is now. He kissed his friend's cheek before quietly getting out of bed and dressed to take Bear for a walk.

When Harold woke up he realized John wasn't anywhere in the apartment and first felt sorrow, then anger and finally panic because his friend was out roaming somewhere alone. He was almost out of the bed when the loft door opened and John walked in with Bear. He felt relief and then snapped, "Jesus, John. You scared me. I...thought you left. Then I was afraid you'd get hurt alone." He felt bad as soon as he noticed John looked like a whipped puppy.

John whispered, "I'm...sorry, Har...old. I just try to help. I took Bear for walk. I want please you. I just make you angry." He couldn't help it but he started to cry and had to turn away from the older man.

Harold said, "John. Look at me. Come here." He watched John slowly turn around and come over before sitting on the bed next to him. He pulled the younger man to him and wrapped his arms around him. He felt John body start to shake and then the sobs started. He said, "No, John. I'm sorry. I was just worried that you had left me and something bad was going to happen."

John sobbed, "Why you think I leave?"

Harold sighed, "I woke up and you were gone after seeing me without many layers the first time...I just assumed.. you changed your mind about us."

John gasped, "No. I love you. I not leave you."

Harold sighed, "I'm trying, John. It's just going to take time for me to accept that as truth. I physically am such a mess....It hard to believe a man as beautiful as you can possibly want me."

John kissed Harold's lips and replied, "You pretty to me. Scars are part of you. I love all of you. We both....dam..aged. My Finch pretty."

Harold replied, "All right, John. I'm sorry. It will take time for me but you have been the best part of my life in...many years. That's why I...bought you things. I guess I was unintentionally courting you without realizing it. I should have because I am the type to spoil and shower the one I want in gifts. You....made me happy so I gave you things. I never....thought you'd feel the same as I did." He lightly kissed the younger man's lips and hugged him. Harold looked at John and realized his partner had chosen to wear "the suit" he always used to before the shooting. 

John had chosen the suit ensemble that he remembered wearing the most mainly because of the way Harold would look at him. He was pretty sure the look had been love and longing so he had always worn it because it made Finch notice him. He had hoped maybe the older man would approach him if he pleased him enough. He hadn't realized Finch was more terrified of rejection than he was himself.

Harold had John step back and admired the view. He said, "I always.....loved you in those suits, John. You look gorgeous in them. I used to wish......I was brave enough to say something but I wasn't. I learned to accept what I could get which was a beautiful and alluring partner that for some reason was devoted to me. I have loved you for a very long time. I just thought I'd have to be satisfied with just having you for my friend and partner."

John cup Harold's cheek and replied, "I hoped you say it. I love you long time too. I think I'm not.... good enough for you. I bad man."

Harold replied, "You're not a bad man, John. You've done bad things but you didn't have a choice. I may not have.....liked your past but as I got to know you I realized you are just a hired assassin. You have feelings and care about people. You were capable of killing but you would regret it later. That showed me you were capable of kindness as well as killing. You are not a machine with bad code like I usually tend to categorize people like you. I found out you are more human than any of the others I have hired. There was always something special about you that made us become more that what I had planned to be. We became friends, partners and now lovers. When you came after me with Root....I never expected to be rescued. I gave you access to the Machine because I was just expendable. I trusted you to continue without me. When Fusco and Carter told me what you did to find me....You were willing to kill and destroy anything in your way just to find me. I had no clue how devoted you were to me. I didn't understand why but I was grateful to have a friend like you."

John replied, "I take orders from you only. Trust only you. Work for only you. I not lose you. Not go on without you. I love you."

Harold sighed, "I know. When you had that bomb vest on....I felt the same way. I would either save your life or die with you. I won't go on without you either, John. I was completely in love with you then and I still am now. When this happened I thought...I had lost the only person that matters anything to me in the world now. I would give my life for yours in a heartbeat. I will always be there even if we die because I'd rather die with you than .....live without, John."

John took both Harold's hands in his and said, "We die together or not at all."

Harold squeezed the hands in his back and replied, "Together or not at all." He knew it was the equivalent of a suicide pact but it was the truth. He doubted John would be doing the jobs anymore but he knew they were like Yin and Yang. They evened each other out and if one half was lost the other would self destruct. He knew if something happened to him John would go on a rampage until he got himself killed. He knew he couldn't actively do numbers himself anymore because there was the possibility he'd get killed. He painfully got up and got dressed and made breakfast while John played with Bear. It amazed him how in some ways John was very much a child but in others her was much more. He could his lover was remembering things from before being shot but he wasn't exactly sure how much. He had a feeling it was a jumbled mess the younger man was still trying to make sense out of the best he can.

John kept remembering fragments of what happened to him before he was shot in the head. He remembered Harold coming to save him when he had been shot in the belly and leg and then again with the bomb vest. He had been so angry with his lover that day because he didn't want to be the cause of the smaller man's death. He hadn't realized Harold was just as suicidal as he was at the time. He wasn't afraid to die but Harold had been afraid to live on without him. He also remembered going nuts when Finch had been taken by Root. That was...when he found Bear and decided to give him to his lover to protect him when he wasn't there. Mostly what he was remembering only centered around himself and the chubby small man in the kitchen making breakfast in a Bespoke suit. He walked out to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around the older man's round belly and rested his head on his shoulder. He said, "I love you, Har...old."

Harold placed a hand on John's hands resting on his lower belly and replied, "I love you too, John."

John said, "Marry me. Be my bird for...ever." He had wanted to spend the rest of his life with Harold for a long time and couldn't think of a better way to prove to his lover he wasn't going to run out on him.

Harold was shocked when John asked him to marry him. He asked, "You're not asking just to ask or feel you have to?"

John replied, "No. Want you for rest of life."

Harold replied, "All right, John. If you really want to get married then....Yes I'll marry you."

John kissed Harold's cheek and gave him a tight hug. He said, "Thank you! Mine! Finally!"

Harold asked, "What name do you want us to marry under?"

John replied, "Raven's fine."

Harold replied, "All right. We will make it official by saying we are renewing our vows. Harold and John Raven. I've been yours for a long time, John. If you want to make our relationship official then it all right with me as long as it's what you truly want." After breakfast he took John to a jewelry shop where the younger man picked out a pair if brushed Rose gold weeding bands. His was engrave with: To my beloved bird, love John. John's had: To my beloved guard dog, love Harold. They understood the inside Joke so that was all that really mattered to them.

John kissed Harold as they got their rings. He was so happy his lover had agreed to marry him that he was giddy. He called Fusco and told him the good news.

Fusco replied, "It's about time you to got married. You've been drooling and moping over each other as long as I can remember. As for being witnesses I'll talk to Joss but I'm sure she'll be ecstatic."

John replied, "Thank you, Lio....nel. Let me know." Later that night after Dinner he drug Harold to bed and gave him such a wonderful blow job his lover fell asleep almost instantly. He just curled up beside him and eventually fell asleep.


End file.
